I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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