It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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