I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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