Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize