So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
