Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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