i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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