I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My vagina is very pro this idea
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
