New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
