Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
