you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
