great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
