i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am available for nakedness
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
