Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I just went to clothing optional bar
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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