I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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