Im at strip club and am horny
i just wanna soil my oats bro
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
