my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
