okay pat passed out under dana's car
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
