in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think your dad took our porno
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize