people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
