what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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