You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize