I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
