Will you blow on my dice?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
