He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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