I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
