he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
