dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
