Midget sex pt 2 tonight
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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