I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
