Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This is my gift to your gina
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
