Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
