So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
