Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
