White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
