That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize