you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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