But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
