I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize