To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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