I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
