if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
