i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
