Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
