i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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