I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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