You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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