I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
