Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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