Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize