the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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