so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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