I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
