are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
