Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
