Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
