What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
