winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
