Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
