Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
