my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You made out with two different species that night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
