Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
