ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
