Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
