The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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