i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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